Pick Up the Mic Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

I'm really happy that Brokeback Mountain is getting so much positive coverage. Even here in Hong Kong where we are so behind in protecting the rights of minorities (and not just homosexuals), the media is eating up the film because the director, Ang Lee often gives props to the territory. There was even live coverage of Lee's family's Oscar party and I saw his mother and brother celebrate at least once an hour, on the hour while at work. Arguably, it's overkill.

But that's not the problem. The problem, as I see it is the reaction that so many people have after watching Brokeback Mountain. It's often something along the lines of: "Oh that's so sad...but I'm so glad things like that don't happen anymore."

The more I talk about the film with people, the more I realize there are a lot of people out there who just don't get it. The theme of repression and self-hating homophobia is not a theme that we left behind with the 60's. It happens today.

Hate crimes and discrimination do happen. They happen in Hong Kong, they even happen in Canada where we're so proud of our tolerance, cultural mosaic and same-sex marriage rights. But there is hatred among us and while our world is better than Ennis and Jack's world, it certainly isn't perfect.

I write this with my blood boiling thinking back to not that long ago when I saw my own friends hurt from their experiences with hatred because she wanted to hold her girlfriend's hand on the street or he was just on his way to watch the Pride parade. Sometimes it's "just" a name. Sometimes it's rocks hurling towards their head. Sometimes it's the denial of a job.

I wanted to write this post because I don't want people to become complacent. Regardless of whether you're gay, straight, white, black, Asian or a minority of all kinds like me, I think it's important that everyone take responsibility for their environment and they affect tthe people around them. If you left the theatre thinking about how sad and ugly the world is then you better be doing something to make it better.

Of course, I'm not talking just about embracing sexual minorities. Putting your money where your mouth is should be applied to everything. For those who say they can't watch the news because there's too much war, poverty and disease do something about that too. But for everyone who left Brokeback Mountain crying or saying to their companion, "that's so sad," ask yourself what you've done to make it easier and then ask yourself if it's enough.

Of all the shitiness in the world, intolerance of people who are different always gets to me most. In part, it's because I'm always a minority. But mostly, there is so much shittiness, war and poverty already, we're just wasting our time with in-fighting. Instead, let's focus on curing cancer and feeding the poor.

Comments

[sarah]

damn straight. way to give it to us. now all i have to do is figure out exactly how i can help more...

[baswizzle]

And that paper you work for, what do you think of the cartoon they put up this morning?

Are all gay men queens? No. Why is being gay about a feminine/masculine thing?

[baswizzle]

And i don't think BBM was sad because it was about gays. it was a sad love story about choices. it was about h ow some people don't make choices that can make them happier.

it's not about victimization and feeling sorry for gays anyway.

[Andrea Chiu]

Baswizzle: I'll respond to your first comment privately.

As for your interpretation of Brokeback, I agree to a certain extent. But I think the film was sad because these men weren't comfortable being themselves. It's not that they didn't make the choices to make themselves happier, it's that they couldn't. Brokeback is about fear and repression.

[Andrew]

I like Annie Proulx's take on the Oscars and why Brokeback lost. Go www.guardian.co.uk. It should be there somewhere.

[anon]

I know your comments are a common response to this film, and are the desired effect the writer intends. But please consider my point of view.

For a second realise that disagreeing with something, being intolerant and being hateful are all different things.

I have friends that started hanging out with gay people a lot and eventually became gay. It changed them. They knew going in the difficulties I had with it, and they actually could articulate many more problems I'd not even considered. I love them as people, so it hurts me to see how they've changed and how their personalities have become eroded.

Now there's this whole political thing which I see this movie as part of. The idea seems to be "gay people are sad because some people think it's wrong." If people have concerns with it, is it right to label them as biggots and hateful people?

There are hateful people and biggots out there, but I almost detect more hatred and biggotry from some homosexuals against people they percieve as their enemies than vice versa.

[anon]

just to continue that thought.. just because you're a minority that's mistreated doesn't mean you can mistreat others to make yourself feel better.

I've been a minority myself and that's a very self destructive choice. Personally, I think homosexuality comes from confusion about gender roles, a strong hedonistic/escapist desire or a history of abuse. Hollywood and reality are not exactly the same.

[sarah]

uh... what concerns would someone have about someone else being gay? the premise that you're coming from is very confusing. it's hard to argue rationally with someone who would say something like that, because it's not a rational place that you're coming from. their personalities are becoming eroded? I think you should just meet some more people and realize how normal being gay is. people are just people and there are annoying gay people and annoying straight people too. Just meet some more people of all different types and you'll find you can't really generalize about peoples' personalities based on sexuality or race or any other socially constructed category.

which brings me to my second point, you say, "homosexuality comes from confusion about gender roles"... no, homosexuality is a disagreement about traditional gender roles. just because society accepts something as right doesn't mean it's right. That's why society changes and norms chage and roles change all the time. Back when women weren't allowed to vote, when a lady said "you know, I think I should be allowed to vote", people would say "uh, what's rong with you? A women wanting to vote comes from a real confusion about gender roles. Maybe she is spoiled or thinks she is better than she is because she thinks she should vote." But women fought for their right against societies assumptions and now everyone agrees that women should vote. Same thing is happening now with gay people. They are fighting these assumptions about society for the right to do something that they should be allowed to do. It's a good thing. Giving gay people the same rights as all people is pretty much a no-brainer.

The point of the movie was that these people just wanted to be themselves and love each other, but they couldn't because they were in actual physical danger for that. Not just "people thing it's wrong" so they are "sad". One of the characters was killed, just for being attracted to men!

I don't know, your comments are very puzzling to me and sounds like you haven't really met a lot of gay people... This sounds like something people would say about gay people circa 1993. I kinda felt hesitant to respond because usually there is no point arguing with people who think like this, but I was so surprised by your comments that I thought I would give it a half-hearted shot. You say a lot of things in there where my friends and I are just like "wha?". But anyway, go out and meet different types of people and it will set your mind at ease.

[Andrea Chiu]

Thanks for responding Sarah. I wasn't going to bother responding, especially not to cowards who won't leave their name.

[anj]

whoa. seems a lot has transpired here.

might I digress

being that I saw the movie with, and I've blown in a tissue or two after (perhaps I even mentioned the generalized "sad" comment, alas, I'm only human, one with limited vocabulary at worst) ...I felt there was a need for explanation on my part

If there was any indication to the fact I felt relief in the film being set in the era it was...it would be because of the fact that I have seen changes, however miniscule these may be...in the tolerance we speak of here. I feel relief that Pride Parade in the dam is celebrated no different than their Queen's Day. (I might've screwed up the context a bit by describing this viewpoint from tolerance-abundant Amsterdam, but that's where I've lived and so it goes). I feel relief that the small social circles that I mingle with have the ability to completely include those of every gender tendency- from heterosexuals to homosexuals to metrosexuals (trendy as it is) to asexuals (I'm guilty) to transexuals. I feel relief that many of my best friends are homosexuals and I treat them no different.

Yes, it does happen. And if you're not homosexual, something else happens. Difference happens. I hate to make myself a poster child or resort to the indulgence that is self-pity, but I was bullied for the greater part of my youth because I was THIN! And how much has this changed! (irony, oh irony)

We all feel separate sometimes, blame it on the curse of the westernized ideal of the individual. (Unique, BAH!) I just want to take this little piece of e-space and dedicate it to all the people I know (and my own feeble attempts, as further self-encouragement) to say, I love you all, and that's all I know. There's a lot of fear of the other but yes I love you for you, you apart of me and you as a part of me, and that's all I wanted to say.

the little hippy in me thrives*** I don't care

For those who know me, I trust and follow and believe only one thing in life and that is love. I felt sad after brokeback because I wish I was them and I/they could follow my/their heart. In my own life I don't know otherwise. Instead, and sadness from this stems, they couldn't follow their heart. It's that simple for me, and my tears. It was for all those who couldn't follow their heart.

This blog entry of yours, Andrea, I liked reading about, because I think that's what you did. What may or may not be happening in the greater scale of things I don't know (I'm def not qualified to be judge of that!), and I know things aren't ideal, but we're trying, I'm trying, and life is about intentions.

Just taking off my cynical hat and trying on the optimist one for a change. It fits!

:-) Smile, Andrea.

xxxxxxxxxxx anj

[Andrea Chiu]

Thanks Anj :D But know that this wasn't about you and I mean that in a good way. I liked to hear what you thought about the film so fret not. Take care.